So way back on the 8th(wink-wink), I told you about my winning a necklace in a give-a-way from the magnificent Magaly over at Pagan Culture, made by the very talented Eliora. Just to remind you, the necklace was inspired by a gift that Mattalina received from Bran in Magaly's awesome book Thorn In Red.
I went out to mailbox today and found this...
This is what I found inside...
And this beauty was inside the cute box...
My photo doesn't do this beautiful creation justice; it's simply magnificent, and that butterscotch colored bead is simply delicious. Thank you Magaly & Eliora, I am honored to be its owner,
A few days ago, the wickedly awesome Magaly told us about her friend "Y," and the worthless pile of dung she just divorced. To sum up this part of the post, this asshat told "Y" " that no one is ever going to want her because, her butt is disfigured with stretch marks;" this was also an abusive relationship.
Magaly posed this to all of us...
So, my Wicked Luvs, would you care to share a bit of life-wisdom with Y? Let’s talk about marks… about dating after thirty… about (the courage!) and the freedom of leaving an abusive relationship… about reclaiming our selves… about life and living… and about the symbols such adventures brand on our skins and souls.
I could not do this with a simple reply, so I decided to pore it all out here in a post; here goes.
First let me say this is not easy, as I don't often share this part of my life, but I feel it may help not only "Y" but others as well.
Hi my name is Ash-Lynn and I have scares. I have scares on my face from a dog attack when I was 3, I have scares on my breast, belly, and butt from 3 beautiful daughter and, scars on my soul from being a battered wife for 5 years.
Lets start with the physical scars, I have had my facial scars for 37 year, they have never stopped me from having the time of my life. That leads me to the stretch marks, I love them; I can show you from top to bottom which daughter gave me which marks, and my hubby has never once said a word about them (because he's a real man).
Speaking of real men "Y's" ex is apparently not a real man and that I can relate to, because my ex was/is not a real man.
Let me sum him up, the asshat used me as a punching bag for 5 years, I have been punched, kicked, choked, and shot at. My middle daughter was born 7 1/2 weeks early do to one of his beatings that ruptured my water sack. He was also verbally abusive, I was told everything from I was a worthless piece of crap, nobody will ever want you because your fat, and calling me stupid, dumb, etc because I didn't finish high school (because of him,).
After my middle daughters birth I decided I had to get out before he killed me, and I did just that 4 months later. I got out and moved on.
It took a bit for me to get the courage to date, in fact I never really did. The man I now call my husband was in my life the whole time, he was a co-worker and friend of my ex(I know awkward), he was going through his divorce at the same time I was going through mine and we leaned on each other for support.
We became best friends and after a year that blossomed into romance, a year later we where married and 13 years later we are still going strong. He's amazing whether I'm fat or lose weight he still loves me never degrade me and is the best daddy to our daughters ( our 1 + my 2). Don't get me wrong like any man he has his faults, but he's not a controlling, abusive asshat; he's a man a real man.
"Y" I know your ex was/is an asshat, but forget him and his insults; in the words of Helen Ready,
You can do anything, you are strong, you're invincible, YOU ARE WOMAN!!! So what if you have stretch marks, you earned them wear them with pride, I know I do!!!
It was July, I think, when I was first introduced to the enchanting world of Mattalina Thorn and Bran Van Dyke. I fell in love with them and their story.....
Click the cover for more info
It's an amazing story about Matt, Bran, and their adventures through the many realms of storybooks. I have to say, not only did I fall in love with this story but I also learned something from it: always control your story, don't let the story control you!
The Wickedly Wonderful Magaly Guerrero, the author of this magnificent book, gave us a wonderful Yule gift by turning it into a e-book. I thought that was the best thing ever, but then the amazing Eliora, who owns, operates and creates all kinds of goodies for her shop Enchanting Elegance, used a gift from the book as her inspiration to make a beautiful necklace that is to die for.
A Silver Ax and a Butterscotch Kiss
Then Magaly did something amazing; she decided to do a give-a-way, and the necklace was the prize; and bless the Goddess I won. I am so excited to get my hands on this beauty; it will be here on Friday, and as soon as I get it, I'll update this post with a few pics of me wearing it!!!
Thank you, Magaly, for giving us the magical book and for doing this give-a-way; and, Eliora, thank you for making such a magically beautiful necklace.
I have been asking myself what is it that I need to learn in 2014 and it came to me today through tears, sweet words from my husband and this line from "The Help"
“You is kind. You is smart. You is important" Kathryn Stockett, The Help
The main one I need to learn and remember is "I am Important" no matter what anyone says or does to try and break me "I am Important!"
I have spent the majority of my life letting my family make me feel like a second class citizen, and walk all over me. well today I reached my breaking point; I'm done.
I will no longer bend over backwards for them, just so they can spit on me and kick me while I'm down. So from this day forward I will grow a backbone and take control of my life, I will live my life the way I want, with whom I want and where I want.
Thanks for reading my rant; I'll try to be more upbeat next time :)
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