Her Tears Make Me Smile...

I used to worry that due my upbringing that I would not me a good mom, but today I have come to the reality that I just might be doing a good job after all.

Let me start with I don't normally discuss my views on politics, and I don't consider myself aligned with either party; I am independent with moderate conservative leanings. That being said, I am and have always been a huge follower of the Kennedy family, in particular JFK, Jackie and their children.  

Next week in the 50th anniversary of JFK's assassination, so naturally the TV has a number of specials on the Kennedy's and the assassination. I was watching one such show with my oldest daughter today, and right towards the end they where talking about how much the nation lost that day, we where all changed forever; you know the normal stuff. I look over at my daughter and she is just balling, I mean huge tears rolling down her face; I ask her "Are you crying because the President died?" she says "NO!" really angrily and then said "All they keep talking about is what the nation lost and what the nation is going through; don't they know two children lost their dad?"

This image is not mine and I do not claim any rights to it.

My heart just swelled so big, I was in awe: this child whom I had carried, given birth to, and raised for the past 17 years had just shown more compassion and empathy for 2 children she had never met, then most adults I know have ever shown; it's like she was feeling their pain.

I knew at that moment I had done something right, I have been told so many times that I was wrong, or did something wrong that I had just accepted it as fact. But not this time, this time I know I did something right, in fact I did something perfect.

Not to leave them out my younger daughters (12 and 14) have very special things about them as well and they all make me proud, I'm one lucky Momma!!!

UnThankful.....

With Thanksgiving coming up I've been seeing all these daily post of what all my friends are thankful for, and that got me thinking about what I'm thankful for....and I came up blank.

I mean seriously blank. I was like WTF, this time of year is my favorite time of year and I can't let this happen. I decided I needed to purge all of this crap out of my life so I could get back to enjoying the things I love. So the start of that is my UnThankful list, I have made a list of things I am UnThankful for, the things I want out of my life. I also did a small ritual that involved burning said list as a way of purging those things from my life.

I wanted to share the list with you as a final step of purging, healing, and moving on so that I can be happy and enjoy life again. So here it is below.

UnThankful

1. I am UnThankful for the constant family drama that tries to consume me.
2. I am UnThankful for my stupid neighbors who let their sick(parvo) dog run loose in my yard and on my porch, forcing me to confine my dog indoors for a while.
3. I am UnThankful for my heart medicine who's lovely side affect makes me feel like I'm starving all the time.
4. I am UnThankful for being forced to stay in the broom closet.
5. I am UnThankful for a certain family member who says she loves me in one breath and then sets out to make me miserable with the next. 

Hopefully in a day or two I'll make a new list of things I am thankful for, and getting things in order for Thanksgiving and beyond.

Really? What's Next?

The past few weeks have been so stressful, that the stress has literally exploded through my pores(acne).

I have dealt with my ailing mother(she has COPD) being in the hospital for a week with pneumonia, which all by itself is stressful. I had to get three daughters ready for Halloween, plan a party for my eldest 17th birthday, help out a friend with a haunted graveyard, and find time to celebrate Samhain; along with my normal day to day stuff.

With all that going on our AC went out, I know in most of the country is having nice fall weather, but along the Gulf Coast it's sometimes warm even in Dec. So we went a few days being mildly unconformable before it got fixed. Turns out a squirrel had chewed through a wire outside, so now I must deal with nutty squirrels. 

 I also had to deal with a cousin who thinks everything should be about her. Let me explain, she calls and tells me this long drawn out story and then ask my opinion. I start to give it to her and she jumps my shit, because I see both sides of the situation; she screams "Why can't you just ever take my side in things." I tried to explain that I don't work that way; I try and see all sides of a situation no matter who's involved. Well she was not hearing it and hung up on me. She does similar things all the time. 

Well this caused huge family drama because her mom lives with my mom, so it caused them to argue; something my mom did not need with just getting out of the hospital, which in return caused me stress because of my mom's failing health.

Then to top it all of I have to keep dealing with my ass-hat of a ex-husband, you would think after 13 years he would get on with his life and stay out of mine. 

As I sit here writing this with blood shot eyes (yes from crying) and looking hideous from being so broke out, I can't help but think things have to get better. So tonight after my hubby has gone to work and the girls are in bed asleep, I will be doing my part by taking a de-stressing and cleansing bath; then tomorrow while they are all out of the house I will be breaking out the sage and cleansing the entire house. I will leave the rest to the universe and her wisdom.

Sorry I ranted for so long, but thank you for listening.

Ash-Lynn