October 17, 2018

Scars Make Us Who We Are...

Scars no matter the size, physical or mental; tell a story.

This year we have been encouraged to give our scars life and tell some story's of our own. Tune in on October 26th-28th and read my scars and read the scars of many others as we participate in ...


 This amazing event brought this song to mind.


I look forward to reading everyones scars and writing my own.

Blessing

Ashley

August 22, 2018

I'll Rise From the Dirt You Threw on Me

This picture below from Jamie Lynn Martin of "My beautifully broken"  really struck a cord with me and what's be going on in my life the past few months.


It's been two years since my mother past away and in that time I have become estranged from several of my family members. I had to step back from them because I could not deal with there drama, rumors, or negativity. From time to time a few of them have tried to come back into my life only to fade away again, however I have one family member a cousin(I have talked about her before in other post) who tries to work her way back into my life only to bring up the very things that made me distance myself from her; then when I distance myself again she throws dirt on me.

The members of my mothers family have called me everything from heartless bitch to useless and uneducated. It has been said that I took everything of my mothers and sold it after she passed away(nothing could be further from the truth by the way).

The point is, I am tired of being their door mat, whipping post, or what ever you want to call it. I am going to rise up from all of this dirt that has been dumped on top of me, and as I rise up it will be as my true, strong, beautiful self and I will not let them do this to me any more.

Thanks for listening to me rant, and put my thoughts out there.

Ashley

My New Normal

The past few weeks has been super busy for my family and myself, we have been getting my middle Witchlett packed and ready to move away from home for college.


We moved her in this past weekend and I am not ashamed to admit that this mommy shed a lot of tears, but I am also happy to say that my girls is doing amazing and I am so proud of her.

I am still getting used to her not being here, my oldest Witchlett chose to go to a college close to home, so she still lives with us, so my middle Witchlett is the first one to move away from home and it's weird.

I know the time will come when all 3 of my witchletts will fly from the nest and I know I have to let them, but man is this tough.

Have any of you gone through this yet? How long to it take you to adjust to your new normal?

August 6, 2018

Meditating at 55 Miles Per Hour

When I first started out on my path to discover the practice of meditation, I had this grand vision of sitting in solitude on a nice comfy cushion; legs crossed, my hands resting on my knees, and me chanting Om over and over as I breath in my nose and out my mouth. However I just could not do this, I could not just sit there and breath and wait for some grand vision to come to me; my mind just does not like to sit and be quite and so I began my journey to find a way to meditate that would work for me.

I found my perfect meditation on the back of my husbands motorcycle at 55 miles per hour, and it's was wonderful. No really that's my zone out, ground myself, and listen to the universe spot. I have also learned to do the whole crossed leg thing too, but instead of quieting my mind I listen to what it is telling me, I take note of what messages I'm getting and what they mean to me and how to go forward with them. I'm still not an expert but I now know what works for me.



I want to share a few basics of meditation with you and what meditation can do for you.

 What is Meditation?

Meditation can be defined as a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state. - Webster's Dictionary 

Meditation to me is time I set aside to calm my mind and listen to the universe and my guides, it's a time to ground and center myself before starting the days task. 

What are the Benefits of Meditation? 


  • Reduces Stress 
  • Relaxes the Mind & Body 
  • Lowers Blood Pressure 
  • Helps with Anxiety 
  • Gives an overall feeling of well being. 
  • Helps you gain better focus 


Where to Start 

Start by doing the basic meditation we have all heard about, find a quite place(this can be inside or outside), and just sit and listen to what ever come into your mind, do this for 5 - 10 min(set a timer if you need to) always remember to breath in your nose and out your mouth.

Take note of what messages come to you and how you feel after you meditate; do you feel relaxed, less anxious, etc. If the basic technique does not work for you, do some research and find what type of meditation works for you.

 Do you Meditate? What works for you?

February 2, 2018

Conflicted...

Caution!!! Possible Triggering May Occur 

On Thursday the 25th I lost my stepdad and ever since then I have been on a roller coaster of emotions, it has more loops than I have ever seen.


Lets go back, my Mom married my stepdad when I was 5 years old, and up until I was 15 I had the most amazing dad in then world, and then in one night my whole world changed; that was the first night he ever climbed in my bed, this and worse behavior continued until I was 18 ad moved out of my parents home, it continued even when the adults in my life knew what was going on and did nothing.

My Mom stayed married to this man until she passed away a year and a half ago, and I was conditioned to play happy family. I may have been conditioned but I wasn't stupid; I never let my daughters stay the night over there or sped time alone with him, I also made sure that my husband knew what was what.

Four years ago, my step dad was diagnosed with cancer, and because of this lost his leg, I felt bad for him because no one should ever go through that, but a voice inside me said it's his Karma paying him back.

Now flash forward to the past week ad why I am feeling so conflicted about my emotions, to me the man I called daddy died when I was 15 and I truly morn that man, but now I'm having to listen to his family talk about what a great person he was, how much he loved and took care of his family, how they know he's in heaven; and I want to scream at the top of my lungs "this was not a good man, this was an evil man, he took away my innocence and my trust" but I don't I just keep quite and let them keep piling on all the work for making his arrangements; it's like I'm frozen in fear all over again.

writing is one of the things I;m supposed to do to help me work through this, so I may be writing more post about my issues, just a heads up for those who might get triggered.

Thanks for listening

Blessings

Ashley 

October 20, 2017

Down but not out...

For months my body and I have been at war, we have been going back and forth; I have won several battles and now I am on the verge of winning another one. Let me explain.

For those who don't follow me on FB I have been having issues with my right arm for about 7 months, the first issue the doctors found was an uncommon issue called Radial Tunnel Syndrome, I had surgery on that back in August and Things were going good, I was healing really good and my arm was working like it should...



<<< My arm all wrapped up
Right after surgery.


My arm after the bandage came off >>>






Nope I was wrong my arm working right only lasted about 2 1/2 weeks, and this time the pain was more in my upper arm/Shoulder; I was like "What The Hell" I had just gotten my arm back. So I go back to the doctor and he checks me out and says I may have a rotator cuff injury ad sent me for an MRI. The MRI was an ordeal all on it's own, my claustrophobia got the best of me and we had to reschedule for the following week and I had to take happy pills to get through it.

Well yesterday I got my results back and I am happy to report that there is nothing wrong with my rotator cuff and my tendons all look good, and I'm happy to report that we now now what's wrong with my shoulder; they found 2 different areas in the shoulder that has developed arthritis, I am not happy about this but I am relieved to know what's going on with my arm/shoulder.

I meet with my doctor next week to discuss my options and see what my next steps are. I hope to be back to regular posting very, very soon, I miss my blogging friends.

Many Blessing to you all

Ashley   


March 23, 2017

This is my life...

and you CAN'T have it!!!

So my house guest are still with us and I'm going crazy, between the lies and other annoyances. It's not bad enough that we are going broke trying to keep food in the house, but the constant ease dropping, fighting, lieing, and the trying to take over my life has me wanting to scream.

I am writing this post because I really have no other way to vent freely, this is the only place in my life that has not been invaded. So if I start getting to ranty on this subject let me know and I'll scream a little less loudly.

Thanks for listening

Ashley