November 17, 2018

Sorry, Not Sorry

I don't know about you guys, but i have been saying sorry way to much lately and I'm done.

I'm done with saying I'm sorry, when others are at fault, step up and take responsibility for what you do and say. Don't call me names and put me down, then cover your drunk, pill popping ass by telling the world how I did you wrong; then want me to say sorry. 
Don't call me and cry on my shoulder and pull the "but we are family card" and get me to say oh it's ok. 
I know the statements above may sound harsh, but after 45 years of my family telling me "you have to be friends, she needs you, cousins are supposed to be best friends and quilting me into doing what they say I should again and again; I just can't anymore. 
I am tired both mentally and physically, you can only pick a person up off the ground so many times, before you walk away and leave them laying there.  
I can't answer the phone at 3am only to here slurring of words and you wanting me to tell you it's ok you're not a bad person; I'm done being your enabler. 
I'm done with having the same conversation over and over because you either can't remember or hope I'll change my mind. 
I'm done being told I thought you loved me enough to do this or that. Love has nothing to do with it. 
I'm done being made the bad guy because I won't cave to your wishes. 
I'm done with the stress, depression, and self loathing this relationship and family has gifted me with my whole life. 
I am done living a life that keeps me so stressed that I spend days in bed with migraines, from today forward I live my life my way, on my own terms and no one else's; today I hand all of this mess over to the universe/Goddess/God, it's not my headache anymore.

Demi Lovato sums up my feelings with "Sorry, I'm Not Sorry"

Thanks for listening for another rant

Love you guys


October 31, 2018

Saddened on Samhain

As many have said it is with a very heavy heart that we have to say goodbye to our wonderfully sassy friend and Sister Witch Delores Chapman aka TipToeChick.

Dee was killed in a car wreck Sunday evening, (here is an article on the wreck - News Story). leaving behind 3 beautiful children, a loving family and a devastated pagan/witchy community.

For many, Dee's youtube videos was an introduction in to the wonderful community that we have. Some of us can even remember what video was our first TipToeChick video(mine was "How to Make a Tincture!!!") and of course nobody will ever forget her iconic opening words "Hey Tubies".

My favorite memories of Dee will always be hours and hours of late night stikam chats, those were amazing and it how I and a lot of us got to know Dee and each other.

I know as sad as we all are her family is going through hell right now and we need to keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

On this most sacred of days in our community we need to remember Dee, light a candle for her, talk to her, and send loving, healing energies to her family.

Dee you helped me in so many ways and I will always be grateful, damn I'm gonna miss you chick. I'll never forget you Dee.

Ashley(Ash-Lynn on stickam)

October 27, 2018

Love Yourself, Scars and All...

We all have scars, big and small, physical and mental; the world tells us that scars are ugly and should be covered, hidden away, or not spoken of; but today, we are attempting to put an end to that by exposing our scars and loving them, for they are beautiful and make us who we are.

As my contribution to Beautiful Freaks Fest 2: Scars, Scars, Scars… Such Terrible Beauty! I have created a crystal grid to helps us all embrace our scars and to give ourselves infinite self love.

I have used an amethyst heart in the center, Sodalite, Rose Quartz, and clear Quartz points for the infinite self love loop.

Feel free to print and use this grid in your meditations, I suggest holding a Rose Quartz while meditating and also carrying one with/on you to help you love yourself and your scars.

If you would like you name added to this grid, just drop me a line in the comment section.

Crystal Blessings


Posted as part of Beautiful Freaks Fest 2: Blog Party

October 17, 2018

Scars Make Us Who We Are...

Scars no matter the size, physical or mental; tell a story.

This year we have been encouraged to give our scars life and tell some story's of our own. Tune in on October 26th-28th and read my scars and read the scars of many others as we participate in ...

 This amazing event brought this song to mind.

I look forward to reading everyones scars and writing my own.



August 22, 2018

I'll Rise From the Dirt You Threw on Me

This picture below from Jamie Lynn Martin of "My beautifully broken"  really struck a cord with me and what's be going on in my life the past few months.

It's been two years since my mother past away and in that time I have become estranged from several of my family members. I had to step back from them because I could not deal with there drama, rumors, or negativity. From time to time a few of them have tried to come back into my life only to fade away again, however I have one family member a cousin(I have talked about her before in other post) who tries to work her way back into my life only to bring up the very things that made me distance myself from her; then when I distance myself again she throws dirt on me.

The members of my mothers family have called me everything from heartless bitch to useless and uneducated. It has been said that I took everything of my mothers and sold it after she passed away(nothing could be further from the truth by the way).

The point is, I am tired of being their door mat, whipping post, or what ever you want to call it. I am going to rise up from all of this dirt that has been dumped on top of me, and as I rise up it will be as my true, strong, beautiful self and I will not let them do this to me any more.

Thanks for listening to me rant, and put my thoughts out there.


My New Normal

The past few weeks has been super busy for my family and myself, we have been getting my middle Witchlett packed and ready to move away from home for college.

We moved her in this past weekend and I am not ashamed to admit that this mommy shed a lot of tears, but I am also happy to say that my girls is doing amazing and I am so proud of her.

I am still getting used to her not being here, my oldest Witchlett chose to go to a college close to home, so she still lives with us, so my middle Witchlett is the first one to move away from home and it's weird.

I know the time will come when all 3 of my witchletts will fly from the nest and I know I have to let them, but man is this tough.

Have any of you gone through this yet? How long to it take you to adjust to your new normal?

August 6, 2018

Meditating at 55 Miles Per Hour

When I first started out on my path to discover the practice of meditation, I had this grand vision of sitting in solitude on a nice comfy cushion; legs crossed, my hands resting on my knees, and me chanting Om over and over as I breath in my nose and out my mouth. However I just could not do this, I could not just sit there and breath and wait for some grand vision to come to me; my mind just does not like to sit and be quite and so I began my journey to find a way to meditate that would work for me.

I found my perfect meditation on the back of my husbands motorcycle at 55 miles per hour, and it's was wonderful. No really that's my zone out, ground myself, and listen to the universe spot. I have also learned to do the whole crossed leg thing too, but instead of quieting my mind I listen to what it is telling me, I take note of what messages I'm getting and what they mean to me and how to go forward with them. I'm still not an expert but I now know what works for me.

I want to share a few basics of meditation with you and what meditation can do for you.

 What is Meditation?

Meditation can be defined as a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state. - Webster's Dictionary 

Meditation to me is time I set aside to calm my mind and listen to the universe and my guides, it's a time to ground and center myself before starting the days task. 

What are the Benefits of Meditation? 

  • Reduces Stress 
  • Relaxes the Mind & Body 
  • Lowers Blood Pressure 
  • Helps with Anxiety 
  • Gives an overall feeling of well being. 
  • Helps you gain better focus 

Where to Start 

Start by doing the basic meditation we have all heard about, find a quite place(this can be inside or outside), and just sit and listen to what ever come into your mind, do this for 5 - 10 min(set a timer if you need to) always remember to breath in your nose and out your mouth.

Take note of what messages come to you and how you feel after you meditate; do you feel relaxed, less anxious, etc. If the basic technique does not work for you, do some research and find what type of meditation works for you.

 Do you Meditate? What works for you?